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In the first of what will hopefully be many humourous yet knowledgeable masterclasses, we hand the blackboard over to Fiddle defender Chris Sharpe, who got his 2005/06 season underway with a peach of a free kick at Nickels Cafe Bar.
So never mind buying your 'Really Bend It By David Beckham' or your 'Michael Owen's Soccer Skills', just keep checking back here for all the real tips you need to make it to the very top level.
THE FREE KICK - By Chris 'Sharpe Stuff'
Firstly, place the ball specifically on the ground, avoiding any divets, pieces of tango bottles, or lumps of dog excrement. On a nice healthy piece of grass is my preferred option, thanks groundsman. Then assess the situation - think how far am i away from the nets? Where is the keeper positioned? How agile does the Sunday league shot stopper look? Which post is the wall covering? Can i pass to a teamate? (Remember theres no I in team).
After all that i decide which side of the goal i am going to aim for. The left, the right, or cheekily down the middle. After ive chosen that i place my non kicking foot (in my case the right foot) next to the magic ball and take 4 paces back. I used to take 2 or 3 but im a little fitter this season. Now im ready.........my mind is set........now for the execution.
A gentle jog up to the ball, not to break sweat, placing my non kicking foot next to the ball, and striking the ball hopefully as clean as a whistle and then admiring it as it sails into the corner of the net. Most keepers would have no chance, but then again we can't all strike free-kicks as sweetly as myself.
After all that, celebration time! Wheel away in delight with the biggest, cheesiest grin possible, milk the goal for about a fortnight and then focus on getting many more!
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